Look around and see what happens in the world with women today . On one side you will find the younger woman becoming more powerful, fearless and with a mind set on winning. This generation is what previous generation have slowly build up and passed on from generation to generation.
On the other side you see the older (mature) women becoming more powerful, fearless with a mind set on winning. I am thankful to be here, to be a part of this change. Slowly we rise and let the older (not refereeing to age) fallen women stay on the ground and forever rest. She has done her part and we are thankful for her walk, but now it´s time for us to stand tall. Beside us walks mature men who sees and encourage our rise, even if it means major changes for them. Their daughter, sisters, wife and coworkers are not the same as their mother and grandmothers once was.
Finally we will be accepted and most of all, respected for what we can bring to the table, that we can be great leaders and role models even for men. That beauty does not only belong to a younger generation woman it actually belongs to all woman in all shapes and forms.
Today 70% of all divorces is initiated by women. A change in economical standard have made it possible for women to take care of them self. Below is a list of the most common reason for a divorce and it might be a bit strange that cheating is not top of the list but it is not.
First of all it has to do with communication or actually the lack of it. In the beginning of a relationship we are on our toes most of the time, head over heels in love. We want to share everything and everything we share is looked on with a sort of fluffy shimmer. As the time passes, and you reach a more comfortable stage in the relationship things ease out and you don´t feel the same need of sharing. You now know each other, and are happy and content.
Give it a couple of more years, a couple of children and you might find out that what you once loved about your partner, opinions you shared might end up being things you really dislike. this is were women lack in
Lack of individual identity
So many of us, tend to get tangled in a pleasing mood towards our partners. We are so in love, and want to be together all the time. We forget who we are and become one with our partners. This is not all bad, it´s a natural phase in falling in love. But, it is so important to stay true to your own identity, remember who you are and what make you tick. Many women don´t, and wake up much later in the relationship just to discover that they live their life through their partner and children and totally lost them self.
Lost in roles
lost in being a mom a parent a wife, forgetting that you still are a couple. And remember that you need to take time off, just the 2 of you. It´s easier said then done, but yet so important. If you don´t you will eventually forget what attracted you in the first place, what was the reason to the spark in the beginning?
Seeking the perfect match
One thing that actually strikes me when it comes to some women reason for divorce is their believe that they will find a prince charming right the moment the leave their husband. I am not saying they won´t but I find it quite strange and almost charming that they actually believe there will be a lot better. Maybe you where out of luck the first time around and never had the chance to feel really madly in love, or that passion and lust everyone so well deserve. Then OK, i get it. But otherwise there must be more to a divorce than just urging the madly love and lust part.
My own reflection
Spending time with a lot of women during the years one pattern that has been quite obvious to me is the changes women go through.We have hormones running wild from childhood up to menopause and beyond, throw in a couple of children and a couple of years just focusing on everyone else, women will eventually wake up and question them self – is this it? Now that the children is a bit older and not in such a motherly need anymore, time (that once was a non existing element) is suddenly available Time to think and self reflect.
It´s not as they want a new man, as it is that they need to find them self again, need to get to know their inner spark once again, without distraction from the world around them. This phase is usually something that will change women. From being focused on everyone else the focus goes within.
This is usually not welcomed by her surroundings, who find the changes much less appealing as the women herself. Yes, the women change and become more aware of her own needs and development, and if her partner can not stand beside her while she goes through these changes, time will eventually run out and she will walk out of the marriages before without looking back once.
Are you healthy or not? Do you care or really not? Are you in the game or hopelessly lost? Are you making sure you get the best there is for your body and soul?
Taking care of yourself is the best gift you can ever give yourself. Not only caring about your health but also your mind. Filling it with good thoughts and happy memories. Trigger it with challenges and changes. Give it love every day.
But we all know that life is not always pink and fluffy, it’s sometimes dark or at least grayish. That’s why it’s even more important to overfill yourself with good vibes those days your life feels extra good.
Try at least try to make the best out of every day. If that means sitting around doing absolutely nothing then that is what you should do.
Life passes quickly, fill it with good positive people, educate yourself everyday. Share knowledge to others, be friendly, be curious. Spoil your body and mind every day.
As a modern woman, I enjoy becoming older in many ways, most because I see a clear difference in the way women are able to bloom the way they are suppose to. I strongly believe that we all have a cal,l a purpose, a meaning. You might not know what it is, but sooner or later you will find that inner whisper.
The best part of growing older is that you are more in tune with your self. You have been through hardships and pains, happy places as well as sad. These hardships have shaped you to the person you are today. It can be good and of course bad. But you and only you have the power to change if you want to. Is it your time now to become who you want to become. Listen in to that voice to that inner whisper, what is it telling you?
I have had the privilege to be surrounded by some strong women, but also some that that are a bit lost. I was also a bit lost, I think we all are from time to time, it all comes down to believing in yourself and trusting that inner whisper. Looking at my daughters I feel so proud, they are so strong and smart and fully aware of their capabilities, as many of the young woman out there today. We can thank older women who has walk the path before us, who has struggled and won, who have raised strong and warm sons and daughters who are today the parent of these strong daughters and also sons.
So all you out there, take time to listen in to your inner voice. The world need your service in one way or another, regardless of what your surrounding tells you.
What´s happening to women and men around the age of 40? A lot of us are going through what´s called midlife crises. It might not be something you at first relate as a crises, but more of a life change. Once you are there you know, you start question everything around you. Is my job the correct one for me? Is this the body I want? What about friends and most of all what about the relationships I am in? is it the correct one?
I firmly believe it´s a scare of getting older and eventually death. You have reach a milestone where you have accomplish a lot of things, maybe you had your career, there is no a thrill in chasing a better position. You mirror image does not match your outside anymore. You´re no longer your childrens no 1, all of a sudden they have their own agenda. Your partner might go through changes as well and what was once was a solid united WE is more shattered peaces of memories.
Either way something is knocking on that door, so how should you look at it in a sober manner? Understanding that this is a new phase and work yourself though it. Look at all the aspects that pops up and go though them peacefully. Step by step. Start with yourself and try to figure out what it is you want with your career? a career change is perfect now, you are older wiser and still have many more years to give. How about that body? are you giving it the correct amount of exercise, good food? Maybe it´s time for a different exercise routine?STAY YOUNGER FITNESS The last part you should look at is your relationship. Don´t think that a change of partner will bring you happiness. The change is going on inside you, it has nothing to do with your outside world.
Still welcome it, you need to fine tune your life again, and go through it on your own. No one or nothing on the outside world can make the changes for you. You need to do it, and stop calling it crises it´s finding a new you.
Commitment a beautiful word in many ways. Commit to yourself first off . It might sounds like the most natural thing to do, but it is not. Commitment is a way to actually reach your long for-filling goals. Commit and you will eventually reach them. But commitment is and can also be something challenging.
The commitment of being a good parants for an example. How simple it might sound but what a challenging reward it is. Even with healthy children it is hard sometimes. As much I believe in guiding my children through childhood, I strongly believe that my children are sent to teach me things as well. So how do one commit to being a good parent?
The same goes with other relationships, your spouse, how do you commit to a long lasting and happy relationships in a world that is ever changing? As you go through life you face difficulties in many ways, and you change. I am not the same person I was 20 years ago – far from that. So, should I expect my spouse to still be committed to me? Is it fair? Are we obligatet to stay committed even after 50 years together. Well of course not, we all have a choice but the choice is not easy. Do women and men commit differently?
Even the relationship with my parents have changed. What is my commitment to them? I want to be there for them as they get older and even they go through changes. I am stepping in and becoming more as their parent, then their daughter, and as much as I love them, I was not really expecting this. Did I commit to that? I know, I should be thankful that they are still around and alive. And I am forever grateful for them being their when I grew up, but still.
So overall commitment in the right way is good, but maybe we should not put to much effort into all our commitment. And why not rewrite the commitments now and then, just to understand and accept each others changes. Maybe we should just leave it open and commit to life,and nothing more and with life comes changes, lets just to commit to that!
Well, not a favorit subject for sure but so important to talk about and understand. I always wanted to be financial independent, regardless of what situation I am currently in, from being a singel mom to being married. For me it is a sense of self security, not need to be relying on someone else. I do understand that situations are different depending on where in the world you live, or personal choice. Regardless were you are in life, some thoughts that you need to consider before you relay on someone else for support.
For me who lives in the Northern part of Europe, we are very focused being equal, this is both good and bad. Women working as much as men (well more, since we are still taking care of most of the household shores). This is good for our independence, we also have a very good social benefits that gives us 1 year paid leave and good childcare possibilities. But still, we need to have control over our financial situation. However we do not get a divorce settlements.
I can’t stress the importance of being financial stable, ( I have been there myself) save as much as you possible can, without it being a struggle, and start out early. Make it a part of a monthly goal to save as much as possible. I think as part of us woman breaking us free from being depended is to have our own financial security and that part starts with you. Even if you are a stay at home mom request some money “no asking money” to make your self secure. As much as we want and hope that our life will stay the same it will not. Anything can happen, divorce, death, sickness, unemployment, start your own business and much more.
Building up a financial security will aslo lead you to feeling more secure and in the end happier. I woke up a bit late, but have now released the importance of this. So I have to save even more than if I had started earlier, I have made it in to one of my mission to be a great saver! And being able to help your children financially is such a great gift.
So all you woman and men out there, take care of yourself primarily, and you will be able to give more to others in the end. And no! It´s never to late nor do you need to feel a shamed of not understanding or finding saving interesting in anyway. It´s usually not.
Be the Queen in your life- take care of yourself in all ways – no one else will