Womens reson for divorce

Womens reson for divorce

Today 70% of all divorces is initiated by women. A change in economical standard have made it possible for women to take care of them self. Below is a list of the most common reason for a divorce and it might be a bit strange that cheating is not top of the list but it is not.

Communication

First of all it has to do with communication or actually the lack of it. In the beginning of a relationship we are on our toes most of the time, head over heels in love. We want to share everything and everything we share is looked on with a sort of fluffy shimmer. As the time passes, and you reach a more comfortable stage in the relationship things ease out and you don´t feel the same need of sharing. You now know each other, and are happy and content.

Give it a couple of more years, a couple of children and you might find out that what you once loved about your partner, opinions you shared might end up being things you really dislike. this is were women lack in

Lack of individual identity

So many of us, tend to get tangled in a pleasing mood towards our partners. We are so in love, and want to be together all the time. We forget who we are and become one with our partners. This is not all bad, it´s a natural phase in falling in love. But, it is so important to stay true to your own identity, remember who you are and what make you tick. Many women don´t, and wake up much later in the relationship just to discover that they live their life through their partner and children and totally lost them self.

Lost in roles

lost in being a mom a parent a wife, forgetting that you still are a couple. And remember that you need to take time off, just the 2 of you. It´s easier said then done, but yet so important. If you don´t you will eventually forget what attracted you in the first place, what was the reason to the spark in the beginning?

Seeking the perfect match

One thing that actually strikes me when it comes to some women reason for divorce is their believe that they will find a prince charming right the moment the leave their husband. I am not saying they won´t but I find it quite strange and almost charming that they actually believe there will be a lot better. Maybe you where out of luck the first time around and never had the chance to feel really madly in love, or that passion and lust everyone so well deserve. Then OK, i get it. But otherwise there must be more to a divorce than just urging the madly love and lust part.

My own reflection

Spending time with a lot of women during the years one pattern that has been quite obvious to me is the changes women go through.We have hormones running wild from childhood up to menopause and beyond, throw in a couple of children and a couple of years just focusing on everyone else, women will eventually wake up and question them self – is this it? Now that the children is a bit older and not in such a motherly need anymore, time (that once was a non existing element) is suddenly available Time to think and self reflect.

It´s not as they want a new man, as it is that they need to find them self again, need to get to know their inner spark once again, without distraction from the world around them. This phase is usually something that will change women. From being focused on everyone else the focus goes within.

This is usually not welcomed by her surroundings, who find the changes much less appealing as the women herself. Yes, the women change and become more aware of her own needs and development, and if her partner can not stand beside her while she goes through these changes, time will eventually run out and she will walk out of the marriages before without looking back once.

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Adding years to a better you

Are you healthy or not? Do you care or really not? Are you in the game or hopelessly lost? Are you making sure you get the best there is for your body and soul?

Taking care of yourself is the best gift you can ever give yourself. Not only caring about your health but also your mind. Filling it with good thoughts and happy memories. Trigger it with challenges and changes. Give it love every day.

But we all know that life is not always pink and fluffy, it’s sometimes dark or at least grayish. That’s why it’s even more important to overfill yourself with good vibes those days your life feels extra good.

Try at least try to make the best out of every day. If that means sitting around doing absolutely nothing then that is what you should do.

Life passes quickly, fill it with good positive people, educate yourself everyday. Share knowledge to others, be friendly, be curious. Spoil your body and mind every day.

I promise it will add years to your life.

Midlife crises for a new you

What´s happening to women and men around the age of 40? A lot of us are going through what´s called midlife crises. It might not be something you at first relate as a crises, but more of a life change. Once you are there you know, you start question everything around you. Is my job the correct one for me? Is this the body I want? What about friends and most of all what about the relationships I am in? is it the correct one?

I firmly believe it´s a scare of getting older and eventually death. You have reach a milestone where you have accomplish a lot of things, maybe you had your career, there is no a thrill in chasing a better position. You mirror image does not match your outside anymore. You´re no longer your childrens no 1, all of a sudden they have their own agenda. Your partner might go through changes as well and what was once was a solid united WE is more shattered peaces of memories.

Either way something is knocking on that door, so how should you look at it in a sober manner? Understanding that this is a new phase and work yourself though it. Look at all the aspects that pops up and go though them peacefully. Step by step. Start with yourself and try to figure out what it is you want with your career? a career change is perfect now, you are older wiser and still have many more years to give. How about that body? are you giving it the correct amount of exercise, good food? Maybe it´s time for a different exercise routine?STAY YOUNGER FITNESS The last part you should look at is your relationship. Don´t think that a change of partner will bring you happiness. The change is going on inside you, it has nothing to do with your outside world.

Still welcome it, you need to fine tune your life again, and go through it on your own. No one or nothing on the outside world can make the changes for you. You need to do it, and stop calling it crises it´s finding a new you.

The price of commitment

Commitment a beautiful word in many ways. Commit to yourself first off . It might sounds like the most natural thing to do, but it is not. Commitment is a way to actually reach your long for-filling goals. Commit and you will eventually reach them. But commitment is and can also be something challenging.

The commitment of being a good parants for an example. How simple it might sound but what a challenging reward it is. Even with healthy children it is hard sometimes. As much I believe in guiding my children through childhood, I strongly believe that my children are sent to teach me things as well. So how do one commit to being a good parent?

The same goes with other relationships, your spouse, how do you commit to a long lasting and happy relationships in a world that is ever changing? As you go through life you face difficulties in many ways, and you change. I am not the same person I was 20 years ago – far from that. So, should I expect my spouse to still be committed to me? Is it fair? Are we obligatet to stay committed even after 50 years together. Well of course not, we all have a choice but the choice is not easy. Do women and men commit differently?

Even the relationship with my parents have changed. What is my commitment to them? I want to be there for them as they get older and even they go through changes. I am stepping in and becoming more as their parent, then their daughter, and as much as I love them, I was not really expecting this. Did I commit to that? I know, I should be thankful that they are still around and alive. And I am forever grateful for them being their when I grew up, but still.

So overall commitment in the right way is good, but maybe we should not put to much effort into all our commitment. And why not rewrite the commitments now and then, just to understand and accept each others changes. Maybe we should just leave it open and commit to life,and nothing more and with life comes changes, lets just to commit to that!

Commit to life

Staying body and mind sharp through menopause

I know it´s a topic that have mixed feelings, some of us dread the menopause approach some of us enjoy it. Yes, you are getting older, and it marks the end of youth and fertility in a way. However it also mark the beginning of something new- a stronger better you!

Hormons – or the lack of them or actually the change of the hormonal mix, will leave you with a different mind and body. Make sure to eat optimal eat natural not precessed food. Sleep for example, always have had an issue with sleep, never ever was a sound sleeper. I sleep for 6,5 to 7 hrs tops, that is for me a good night sleep. But most of all the biggest change for me has been my mind. I have become allot stronger mentally. I do have periods where I have felt a bit lost and not really recognize myself.

It´s time to take care of body and mind and most of all create a balance between them. Stop pressuring yourself to much and let go of negative influences. I seldom listen to the news and by choice keep an positive attitude. Not always easy, I feel a lot of people have a negative attitude form the get go, constantly thinking negative thought, regardless were they are in life.

I have set a couple of goals to maintain and create a better future or a future that I want. I going in to a new phase in life. First of is your mind, are you happy with your life? Is this were you picture your self 10 years ago? If not, what is strategy for removing yourself from your current state?

Second your body, I am currently working on my body, nutrition and exercise, to be able to reach my goal I need to change, change my way of thinking, and that is the hardest part, old habits die hard, especially thinking habits.

Top tips to feel your best

  1. Love yourself
  2. Nutrition – eat clean , minimize sugar intake and eat lot´s of greens and fermented soya based foods as it´s has a positive effect on the estrogen
  3. Exercise – not to hard your body needs to recover, but hard enough to break out a sweat, go up early, light a candle and do yoga, it will keep you flexible, try if for 20 minutes 5 days a week. A great start in the morning.
  4. Sleep – hard one, but if you have trouble sleeping, please make sure to at least eat proper as you brains needs the nutritions
  5. Find your inne purpose, if lost or forgotten
  6. Do fun for filling things – take time to enjoy life

Reflection – body and mind

Body issues – past 40

Wow, where to start? I am strong believer in loving your self and really embrace what life has giving you. We are all beautiful inside and out, you know that already, but still. As a woman, you go through a lot of changes during life. The biggest changes comes often after childbirth, some things are going south, and believe me something are going north.

With estrogen decreasing in your body, changes start happening. Fat deposits moves, you might find your behind become flatter, and if you are blessed with a waist, you might find parts of your behind is actually moving north, ending up around your waist as muffin tops. You are also loosing muscle mass, and with loosing muscle mass comes loose skin as there is no muscle underneath supporting it..

You need to change you exercise routine, you need to opt up the weight lifting to keep your muscle tone, and skip the really long distance runs as this is quite stressful for the body. As you get older your cell turnover is a lot slower, and it takes longer time for the body to recover. If you do HIIT do it no more then 3 times a week and do Yoga for flexibility.

I use Jojoba oil, both for body and face. I like the softness it brings and also that it is very natural, with that said, i use stronger retinal product as well. You need stronger product with aging skin, not only on your face and neck, but also on the rest of your body. Dry scrubbing is very much needed, every other day to get rid of old dull skin, before hitting the shower.

And most of all – Be happy, if you are not happy, make it your goal to be.

Refuse becoming old – embrace aging

As a women, specially in the western part of the world we are constantly bombarded with tips on how to stay young. I feel a bit sad, as there is nothing wrong with aging. It´s actually a gift, with age comes a matureness, an deeper understanding for others, a love for life and general happier view on life. We should be grateful for every morning we wake up, as it is a true miracle. With that said, you do not have to become old just because you are getting older.

I meet people all the time who are saying – I am to old for that, that is not for me, I am an old woman , old man and so on! If you limit yourself to those thoughts – you are old. It´s all in your mind. If you limit your life and loose your sense of curiosity as well as your willingness to try new things – you will become old.

We are seeing a trend in aging women on the catwalk, grey ambassadors (stop coloring their hair) and much more. All of a sudden it´s actually cool to embrace your aging- I love it! Saying this, you still need to keep your self healthy and even more relevant keep active and care for your body and mind in a different way then you did when you were younger. Learn to love yourself in a new way, give your self the respect you deserve and why not try something different?

Refuse getting old – but embrace aging.

Refuse dressing for the fall season- keep the flip flop on😊