Middle age love

Love being older in many ways, I would say most ways. The only thing I don’t like is that the body does not respond and look the way it used to. It’s sad that when you are in you’re “prime” between 20-30 you usually don’t feel too good about yourself.

I don’t regret anything really in my life but, trusting my own instincts and trust in that I know what’s best for me.

Being raised by a father whom has been a very traditional man. Traditionally in the way that he would have the opinion that woman really doesn’t fit as leading ladies, they are not really fit to lead a country and so on. It was never spoken out loud but it was there hovering over us in silence. We (women) were/is not suited for the white collar world. Not really being as good as men when it comes to working. And my mother who would not fight for what she believed in. His career controlled where we ended up living, going to school and my mom would settle in and compromise. I still must say I had a wonderful childhood in many ways

I myself started out strong but in my second marriage I married a strong willed man. And without really realizing it I became like my mother in many ways. I just became a stretched version of my husband. Now for every year I grow stronger, wiser and smarter and am not willing to compromise at all, realizing this is my life not someone else’s I am worth as much as anyone else.

Now that my children are getting older and don’t have the same needs as they did when they were younger. I can finally focus more on me. I have been a mom for so many years I have forgotten how it is to just think about me without feeling guilty. Strange but a mother instincts to make sure that you provide for your children’s need and in somewhat husbands.

So here I am trying out jeans for the first time in probably 15 years thinking they are not for me.. but f….k it, why should I even think that way? If I want it then try it, at least once. It’s all about trying and daring to try new that is when you grow.


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