I have been a mom for more than 25 years. My youngest is 11, so still a couple of more years were my services is still needed.
The other day my coworker and good friends (despite the age difference of 22 years) asked me a valid question, – aren’t you ever tired of thinking about everyone else but yourself? Numerous of times when she calls me, I have been forced to text her saying I can’t take you call due to being busy making dinner, coaching soccer, visiting relatives, grocery shopping or talking on the phone with either my parents, any of my children or friends or doing any other typical mom shore.
She (my young friend) is like a lot of young women of today busy with just being herself. The other day, when we (me and her ) was talking on the phone and I was busy as making a snack for my son before he was heading to his soccer practice – she just said straight out! I don’t ever want to become a mom. You are always busy, with something or someone. You are never ever just on your own.
And it got me thinking. Is she self centered or self loving?
To be honest, I love my children to death and would do anything for them, but with that said – I am also missing me, and myself. And all the joy that comes without must and chores, and caring for others.and yes of course I would choose my kids in a heartbeat if I had to choose but still!!
Is it self centered to have only oneself to care for or is it self love? .
Just the word it says implicate a transition or a pause or and end of something. If you are lucky, you might get away with minor symptoms, some unfortunately not – if you have problems with night sweats and other symptoms please – read more about that here – soon up1
I see the whole process as going through a major life change, for better or worse. It´s a new period, that truly marks a new beginning. Most of us have grown children or at least on their way to become adults. For the first time in many years we can actually experience freedom on a different level.
And sure it might feel sad when you reach menopause and your body clearly state that you can not bare children anymore. But it is also a good. You´re body have created new humans and now it´s time to create something new. Look at your self and revaluate your knowledge and skills and use it to be of assistance to something new. It is time for YOU!
If you are like most of us, you might be lost, not really knowing what to do. We women take motherhood extremely focused. When we become mothers nothing else really matters, you are a mother and that is the only thing that counts.
But honestly, when you reached this beloved age, where your body is no longer in the service of creating new humans – you should take the opportunity to use your knowledge to build something new, something that will bring YOU joy and pleasure. Do you remember what made you tick before you become a mother/wife? what was it? Do you recall? Find it again and work on it. or find something else. Its time for you now, time for a new beginning.
Being fit is absolutely a good way to stay young and healthy. However becoming older, your cells turnover slows down, which means it takes the body longer to recover both after activity and a wound.
The skins elasticity decrees. You have to work harder with what you have. I still believe strongly in maintaining your HIIT training 3 times a week for a-proximity 30 min per session – during this time you should really sweat 😓. If you jog, do burpees or really intense Yoga, is all up to you. Just get that heart pumping. This will kickstart your growth hormone. The second thing I vote for is Yoga, all sorts – This will give you the flexibility you need.
Third, you need – me time. It will keep you sane and focused.
Fourth but not last – keep curious to new things, new music, new places , new people, trends. A lot of people get stuck in a old way of thinking.
I remember about 8 years ago when I felt completely out of control. It was a couple of incident that left me completely questioning everything. I was stuck in a black hole, living for everyone else but my self. I was exhausted with 4 children, full time job and I had completely forgotten who I was, my childhood dreams and all the goals I had carried was gone. I was not happy nor sad I was numb and very tired.
During the years that followed I have done my best to changes it, take back the control, as I can only blame my self for loosing it. Fighting against the rest of the world from all of sudden acting different, as well as fighting against my own habits I gotten so used to over the last 10+ more years.
Slowly I began to take control, take control over my thought, finding my dreams, some new and some old. Trying to live up to my own need without feeling guilty which was the hardest part, as I was battle with thoughts of feeling selfish and less caring towards the rest of the people close to me.
Today, many years later I am well om my way, I have found my passion as well as new passions. I have found so many new friends, life is a journey and I am now in it instead of standing by and watching it pass by. So yes, what a blessing to finally having woken up.
The older I get the more I love my life, I wish I would love to feel like this when I was younger. But I guess there is a meaning to why I am standing where I am And I had to go through the hardship to be where I am today, a place where I can truly explore the true me.
I needed to spend years of wondering what is wrong with me and the way I am, what is wrong with the world? Eventually after punishing myself for years trying to fit in and eventually waking up and facing the truth. This is not me, this is not the way I should be or act. I need to stay true to myself, I can not be someone I am not. I need to be me, and now a couple of years later I am still taking back what was lost when I was commit to fit in, now I am being true to my self and loving myself first!
taking care of the body and mind goes hand in hand, the older I get the more important it gets to really listen in om your body, and you do it through your soul. For years I did not listen in, well that was not really true. I was listening but I refused to pay attention and that left me with chronic issues, mostly related to my skin. It has been really bad. I believe that was related to me not listening in on my inner soul. I was always the nice one, never getting in to to any problems, always saying yes,even if my heart and mind was saying no. I had been hiding for such a long time that one day my body gave up and I started to get really health issues.It started out as rash around my eyes, not always but now and then, that lead me to understand that my body was now intolerant to gluten, and all of a sudden I became sick from neglecting my self.
My skin is still an issue from time to time, and I notice that what I put in my mouth make my body react to certain things, It sure makes a difference, and the more I eat well, the less tolerant my body gets to when I cheat (eating gluten). So from now on, I have decided to really be good to my self, by that i mean really eating healthy, what ever that means :)- More vegan, less sugar, less salt,and more meditating, pilates and me time.