Womens reson for divorce

Womens reson for divorce

Today 70% of all divorces is initiated by women. A change in economical standard have made it possible for women to take care of them self. Below is a list of the most common reason for a divorce and it might be a bit strange that cheating is not top of the list but it is not.

Communication

First of all it has to do with communication or actually the lack of it. In the beginning of a relationship we are on our toes most of the time, head over heels in love. We want to share everything and everything we share is looked on with a sort of fluffy shimmer. As the time passes, and you reach a more comfortable stage in the relationship things ease out and you don´t feel the same need of sharing. You now know each other, and are happy and content.

Give it a couple of more years, a couple of children and you might find out that what you once loved about your partner, opinions you shared might end up being things you really dislike. this is were women lack in

Lack of individual identity

So many of us, tend to get tangled in a pleasing mood towards our partners. We are so in love, and want to be together all the time. We forget who we are and become one with our partners. This is not all bad, it´s a natural phase in falling in love. But, it is so important to stay true to your own identity, remember who you are and what make you tick. Many women don´t, and wake up much later in the relationship just to discover that they live their life through their partner and children and totally lost them self.

Lost in roles

lost in being a mom a parent a wife, forgetting that you still are a couple. And remember that you need to take time off, just the 2 of you. It´s easier said then done, but yet so important. If you don´t you will eventually forget what attracted you in the first place, what was the reason to the spark in the beginning?

Seeking the perfect match

One thing that actually strikes me when it comes to some women reason for divorce is their believe that they will find a prince charming right the moment the leave their husband. I am not saying they won´t but I find it quite strange and almost charming that they actually believe there will be a lot better. Maybe you where out of luck the first time around and never had the chance to feel really madly in love, or that passion and lust everyone so well deserve. Then OK, i get it. But otherwise there must be more to a divorce than just urging the madly love and lust part.

My own reflection

Spending time with a lot of women during the years one pattern that has been quite obvious to me is the changes women go through.We have hormones running wild from childhood up to menopause and beyond, throw in a couple of children and a couple of years just focusing on everyone else, women will eventually wake up and question them self – is this it? Now that the children is a bit older and not in such a motherly need anymore, time (that once was a non existing element) is suddenly available Time to think and self reflect.

It´s not as they want a new man, as it is that they need to find them self again, need to get to know their inner spark once again, without distraction from the world around them. This phase is usually something that will change women. From being focused on everyone else the focus goes within.

This is usually not welcomed by her surroundings, who find the changes much less appealing as the women herself. Yes, the women change and become more aware of her own needs and development, and if her partner can not stand beside her while she goes through these changes, time will eventually run out and she will walk out of the marriages before without looking back once.

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Self – centered or just self – loving?

I have been a mom for more than 25 years. My youngest is 11, so still a couple of more years were my services is still needed.

The other day my coworker and good friends (despite the age difference of 22 years) asked me a valid question, – aren’t you ever tired of thinking about everyone else but yourself? Numerous of times when she calls me, I have been forced to text her saying I can’t take you call due to being busy making dinner, coaching soccer, visiting relatives, grocery shopping or talking on the phone with either my parents, any of my children or friends or doing any other typical mom shore.

She (my young friend) is like a lot of young women of today busy with just being herself. The other day, when we (me and her ) was talking on the phone and I was busy as making a snack for my son before he was heading to his soccer practice – she just said straight out! I don’t ever want to become a mom. You are always busy, with something or someone. You are never ever just on your own.

And it got me thinking. Is she self centered or self loving?

To be honest, I love my children to death and would do anything for them, but with that said – I am also missing me, and myself. And all the joy that comes without must and chores, and caring for others.and yes of course I would choose my kids in a heartbeat if I had to choose but still!!

Is it self centered to have only oneself to care for or is it self love? .