I have been a mom for more than 25 years. My youngest is 11, so still a couple of more years were my services is still needed.
The other day my coworker and good friends (despite the age difference of 22 years) asked me a valid question, – aren’t you ever tired of thinking about everyone else but yourself? Numerous of times when she calls me, I have been forced to text her saying I can’t take you call due to being busy making dinner, coaching soccer, visiting relatives, grocery shopping or talking on the phone with either my parents, any of my children or friends or doing any other typical mom shore.
She (my young friend) is like a lot of young women of today busy with just being herself. The other day, when we (me and her ) was talking on the phone and I was busy as making a snack for my son before he was heading to his soccer practice – she just said straight out! I don’t ever want to become a mom. You are always busy, with something or someone. You are never ever just on your own.
And it got me thinking. Is she self centered or self loving?
To be honest, I love my children to death and would do anything for them, but with that said – I am also missing me, and myself. And all the joy that comes without must and chores, and caring for others.and yes of course I would choose my kids in a heartbeat if I had to choose but still!!
Is it self centered to have only oneself to care for or is it self love? .
Yes, i know its a worn out topic these days- but it is so important, I can not stress this enough. I find it sad to see so many women totally lost in a made up world. Picture perfect on the outside but totally empty on the inside.
I see these women, living up to the standard, I do to, to a certain extent, I care about my health, looks but with that said- I also care about my soul, and who I am. I was lost for many years, lost in a fake persona – who I thought I wanted to become. I was striving towards what society made up to be a norm for success, not understanding my own value, or what I can actually bring to the table. It took years to where I am today, and I am still learning, exploring and developing each and every day. Undertand the importance in self-development and always strive to become the best version of you, without being guilty. We women much more then men work from our emotions. Always consulting and considering others before we make our decision. We like to feel that we have a our backs covered, it makes us feel more secure, but is it really? If you always need to have someone else take the lead in your decisions? I´m not saying that it is wrong to consult in others now and then, just make sure that the final decision comes from you.
Because, you can hide for a while, but soon enough it will start eating you alive. And most certain it will either make you sick or make you depressed. So you have the choice, make a good one.
You are here for a reason, live up to that, it´s your path-walk it!
Such a nice, yet a bit scary thing. It seems like yesterday when I was barely 21, living my dream. So very insecure, but still very happy.
Today 25+ years I feel more secure but a bit sad that I didn’t know and trust my self better. That I didn’t give it my all.
All I had back then was myself. Now I am blessed with beautiful children, but little time for my self. Regrets I had a few, to few to mention, but one is for sure – go out there and try, give it your best, and have fun along the way. Life is to shorts for regrets and not to make mistakes⭐️
The older I get the more I love my life, I wish I would love to feel like this when I was younger. But I guess there is a meaning to why I am standing where I am And I had to go through the hardship to be where I am today, a place where I can truly explore the true me.
I needed to spend years of wondering what is wrong with me and the way I am, what is wrong with the world? Eventually after punishing myself for years trying to fit in and eventually waking up and facing the truth. This is not me, this is not the way I should be or act. I need to stay true to myself, I can not be someone I am not. I need to be me, and now a couple of years later I am still taking back what was lost when I was commit to fit in, now I am being true to my self and loving myself first!