I have been a mom for more than 25 years. My youngest is 11, so still a couple of more years were my services is still needed.
The other day my coworker and good friends (despite the age difference of 22 years) asked me a valid question, – aren’t you ever tired of thinking about everyone else but yourself? Numerous of times when she calls me, I have been forced to text her saying I can’t take you call due to being busy making dinner, coaching soccer, visiting relatives, grocery shopping or talking on the phone with either my parents, any of my children or friends or doing any other typical mom shore.
She (my young friend) is like a lot of young women of today busy with just being herself. The other day, when we (me and her ) was talking on the phone and I was busy as making a snack for my son before he was heading to his soccer practice – she just said straight out! I don’t ever want to become a mom. You are always busy, with something or someone. You are never ever just on your own.
And it got me thinking. Is she self centered or self loving?
To be honest, I love my children to death and would do anything for them, but with that said – I am also missing me, and myself. And all the joy that comes without must and chores, and caring for others.and yes of course I would choose my kids in a heartbeat if I had to choose but still!!
Is it self centered to have only oneself to care for or is it self love? .
Yes, i know its a worn out topic these days- but it is so important, I can not stress this enough. I find it sad to see so many women totally lost in a made up world. Picture perfect on the outside but totally empty on the inside.
I see these women, living up to the standard, I do to, to a certain extent, I care about my health, looks but with that said- I also care about my soul, and who I am. I was lost for many years, lost in a fake persona – who I thought I wanted to become. I was striving towards what society made up to be a norm for success, not understanding my own value, or what I can actually bring to the table. It took years to where I am today, and I am still learning, exploring and developing each and every day. Undertand the importance in self-development and always strive to become the best version of you, without being guilty. We women much more then men work from our emotions. Always consulting and considering others before we make our decision. We like to feel that we have a our backs covered, it makes us feel more secure, but is it really? If you always need to have someone else take the lead in your decisions? I´m not saying that it is wrong to consult in others now and then, just make sure that the final decision comes from you.
Because, you can hide for a while, but soon enough it will start eating you alive. And most certain it will either make you sick or make you depressed. So you have the choice, make a good one.
You are here for a reason, live up to that, it´s your path-walk it!
I am an introvert, but with great social skills. I definitely need my own space and time to “recharge”.
It’s important to actually spend time on you, all alone, to reflect and find yourself again. So many people are totally lost, and have no idea who they are or what they want. They are trapped in other peoples stories. No wonder people are feeling depressed. If you are constantly living someone else’s life- how for filling is that?
I believe we all need alone time to think, that is why meditation is so popular right now. It’s also a way to beat dementia, depression and all kinds of mental illnesses.
I do it differently depending on my mood, but yoga flow is a part of it. During the weekdays I get up an hour earlier to have “alone time” with my yoga pass.
Another favorite is running, yes it might sound strange, but it works as meditation for me. I take of for a medium jog, just to clear my mind.
I also make sure to listen to good motivational speakers from now and then just to remind me of where I am going.
I cannot stress enough that I am very blessed in many areas, I have 4 beautiful children and my health intact. I have wonderful friends, a good family man.
I work hard to keep my life in balance. I enjoy being involved in my children’s life, staying fit which it’s a struggle for sure as the body is living it’s own life those days😏.
I have during the past years really been through a self exploring journey, yes it might be selfish but a absolute must, as I was literally dying inside. These years been up and down, but mostly lost.
I see so many women my own age going through the same thing and I understand with children and becoming mother your life and focus changes completely. You tend to give up everything that meant something to you earlier in life for all the right reason of-course 👉🏻 you need to focus on your children.
However I am strong believer in following your inner glow, and until you fully do that you will not feel complete- because the WORLD needs it, It’s your purpose. For some it might to be a wife and care for your children and husband, for others being a yoga instructor. Whatever the call is, when you find it, you will know. For me it is working with women in all areas, strengthen them. I want to assist them on their journey, whatever that might be.
My struggle is getting it through the filter at home. I keep going back to my old habits of thinking. I am only blaming myself, no one ☝🏻 else to blame. I keep fine turning all the time, and that is probably necessary to keep me focused and on track. However it’s frustrating, I want to move faster, but feel like I am stuck. I know in my heart what to do, to be able to bloom fully, it will hurt, and it will be a challenge but soo worth it in the end! I will keep you posted.
Such a nice, yet a bit scary thing. It seems like yesterday when I was barely 21, living my dream. So very insecure, but still very happy.
Today 25+ years I feel more secure but a bit sad that I didn’t know and trust my self better. That I didn’t give it my all.
All I had back then was myself. Now I am blessed with beautiful children, but little time for my self. Regrets I had a few, to few to mention, but one is for sure – go out there and try, give it your best, and have fun along the way. Life is to shorts for regrets and not to make mistakes⭐️